BREAK #4.5: gay old time in the eighties

BREAK #4: gay old time in the eighties

Heresy

Dear previous person,

We know that this won't do any good, but we have no other options available to us. Two hundred years in your future there was a technological revolution. It's sort of hard to explain, a kind of nexus of what you used to call 'information technology' and 'reality', but with some pretty solid uniforms and holograms. Holograms are cool. It was some far out, utopian shit at first. We had it all man! I could squirm around a fully realised 4D simulated construction of my own Deconschamber without having to leave the comfort of my own Deconschamber, FFS!!

Wild times, wild times indeed. But sadly they were not to last. Basically, for some reason I don't really understand, when this sort of bliss applies itself to humanity, then an equal horror befalls it. In our case it came from the most unexpected of sources, the hyper advanced fully autonomous cybernetic army which was at the root of our peaceful Eden. Creating an independent and heavily armed mechanical robot army may seem foolish to your innocent mind, but may I remind you of the alternative? The conventional methods employed in warfare were both inefficient and cruel. The cost of just one of your passive military exoskeletons, not to mention the time and money needed for its operation, was astronomical. Plus, the subhuman’s innards were really hard to get off those things, don’t try to deny it.

So basically we have, by your standards, absurdly advanced machinery. And how do I speak to you? Yeah, it’s possible, chill out, packing a time machine here. Full on. Only sends information though, and you don’t get to choose the destination. Only seems to work for the past as well. We had a guy from Skien on here a few months ago. We honestly couldn’t tell when he was from, so there’s hope amongst us.

Pretty much the upshot is, we have no food. And there’s killer robots fucking everywhere. So if you could bury some canned tomatoes and military grade weapons next to the bombed out statue of Our Glorious Numerical Leader, we’d be in your debt. Not that it will do any good.

From future awesome people.

Anger

Before I begin, to fully experience the mood, I necessitate that I DO NOT WRITE WITHOUT DRINK. Tia Maria, or whatever that shit is called. I've already had a bottle of wine and two beers, but for this, special measures are called for. This will not be remotely amusing. For a start, commas will be used, inappropriately, unnecessarily, for kicks and without, reason. Accurate spelling will also be dismissed. I’m plain fucking sick of pumping every other word into Google to make sure I’ve spelled it correctly for you fuckers, or, for example, making sure that my grammar isn’t fuckered to the max. No more. I was going to put another paragraph in there, explaining my shit, but then I realised: I don't have to explian any of my shit to you, or put in paragraphs. Fuck you. I was sat here a second ago worrying that I wasn't mad enough. Not mad enough to write something intresting and funny enough for you to read. NOT MAD ENOUGH? Fuck you. (Tia Maria - hell I'm mad at you, but that doesn't mean I don't respect you). FUCK YOU! Have you ever opened a packet of cigarettes only to find a spunky tissue inside? That makes me mad. I get mad all the time. Stupid shit most of the time, as I'm sure most things are. A woman jumped me in the que (really going with this now) the other day at 'THE TESCO' (peace be upon him) this ...WOMAN... barged the Q (fuck it) despitite there being a clear line in operation. I didn't say a fucking word, why? Self service machine at the Tesco was clearly marked as being out of order. 'Nae bother' I thinks to my wise-as-fuck self. Not to be. Brazenly strolls over to nearest available machine! Fuck this, I think. Assertively, confidently I approach her "There is a que (sic)". Sorted, yeah? Fuck no. Immediately the check out girl ot there, telling me that "They were actually using a broken machine". Am I fucking invisable? I accidentially called the elderly lady behind me a man during all of this. Also the evil woman had the foresight to bring a seven year old with her, which amde me look like a total dick.

Jesus.

I suppose a funny story about a supermarket is when I went to buy Marigold rubber gloves amd butter, reached the checkout, looked at my purchases amd returned the gloves. Whatever. Fuck you.

fuck it, I'm spell checking this in MSWord.

Greed

I don't have anythig to say. This is not self pity.

BREAK #3: Electric Tibet

BREAK #2: Kumar and Clark

BREAK #1: Cassowary